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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Still 2013

idayumumtaz
It's New Year's Eve and it honestly doesn't mean anything special to me. With my bladder full and JRabbit playing in the background, I'm keying this out not as a celebration (because logically, I'd be out partying instead if it was) but as a reflection for this year. 

The year started out great! My really long holiday that I wished and still wish would never end was filled with so much fun stuff. Started driving, learnt korean, hung out with my mates, got accepted, went and dropped out of UTP, met Jong Kook, was left unsupervised for 2 whole weeks while my parents were in the UK and my application for MARA's loan to study abroad was accepted. Keying this all down just made me realise how productive my year has been. 

However, I was then sent to Kolej MARA Kuala Nerang, Kedah (which was my own choice) to start studying again; as if 6 years of studying wasn't enough (I never really studied back in primary). And in KMKN was where I finally realised that to gain something, you have to lose something. When the day got tough, I'd tell myself that I have to persevere in order to achieve the goal that I've set for myself. 

I have missed out so many day outs with my mates! I rarely chatted to most of them because of the crappy internet and that I'm always knocked out. I have also missed out on weddings and/or engagements of my relatives. I've missed spending time with my family. And I've missed the fun and joy that I could have had if my college was near home. But to make myself feel better, I would remind myself that in order to gain, I have to lose. I may have lost loads of months at home but that might just be the sacrifice that I have to make to be able to gain a bungalow in heaven. I may have lost some family bonding time now but that might just be the sacrifice that I have to make to be able to gain family bonding time 100x longer in the future. 

In the past, every single year, I would complain a lot about how bad my year had been. I failed to remember the good years that I was given before those bad years. Relating it to this year, the first half was filled with fun and good memories but the second was a little bit dull and boring. Meaning the good came before the bad. Oppositely, if the bad things happen first; well, every cloud has a silver lining. Allah is fair. 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Project week

This week was filled with head-cracking thoughts of how to complete my foundation project successfully, annoying people who kept on telling me how I wouldn't be a good wife, babysitting immature 18 year olds and tiring days. I thank God for giving me a dad who was willing to help me and my group mates from step 0 til the end, one who took a break from work to check on us and our project without asking for anything back (except for a 4 flat from me, I bet). 

We started the week with complications, unsolved problems, questions with no answers and ended it with a complete project, new skills, less money, confirmation about Zafran's gender and so many more. I found out how hard it is to read circuit diagrams, how soldering needs practice and how I don't think I'd be able to live with any other guy other than my dad and my brothers. It seems as if I have to start with the preparations of my wedding with engineering. 

Semester 2 is coming up prit soon and I'm not looking forward to it. 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Hols

When my parents sent me to KMKN in July, they told me that the next time they'd be back is at the end of Semester 2. But then, yesterday, they were waiting for me downstairs at my block's parking lot to bring me home. Feeling touched and loved. And I'm thankful. May they send me to the UK next and visit me every half a year or even stay there with me. Mak also came along and we stayed at Darulaman, Jitra for a night. Went to Kuala Perlis for dinner because there's nothing in Jitra. Had a nice time there. It seems as if Papa knows that sometimes, the littlest thing after something stressful could make you feel so much better. 

I'm nearly half way into my semester break. Can I just extend the break please. I've forgotten about the existence of my blog for a while but that's only because I had to study for my finals and once I got home, I had to catch up doing things that I wasn't able to do back in college. But those are all excuses. Plus I have a journal/diary that I write stuff in. Mostly, when I'm angry, pissed, happy and/or upset. I really couldn't rant much on this blog. Too many imaginary readers are going to read it and they might use it against me when I'm older. 

Everyone's stressing about when the results are going to come out. I want to know my results, sure, but  it hasn't been on my mind. Not because I'm confident with my results but because I know I worked hard, I have nothing to regret and lets say it doesn't turn out the way I want it to, I'll make myself believe that every cloud has a silver lining because I believe in Allah. 

My girl Susu is leaving to Madinah and then to Makkah soon for one unforgettable holiday. I sure will miss her noisiness on Whatsapp but there's WIFI in every hotel there, I have a feeling I wouldn't be missing her much! Talking about Whatsapp, us girls have been planning our future sleepover in Hilton. Marry some rich guy and make them pay for our sleepover. We were saying how Iman wouldn't have a problem cos she has already found a rich guy. However, I think I'd end up using my own money to pay for it (I don't like people paying for me, closies would know). Lets pray for Asma's health and wealth to do good deeds and to have that sleepover. 

Before the finals, I had to organize the SPCs' annual dinner and was put under protocol. I would love to talk more about it but I was too upset and pissed with a certain person then to continue.


Friday, October 25, 2013

The Interview

here is a random picture
UTP's Educamp post

Since I got through UTP's educamp, got into UTP, now out of UTP and bored, I'd like to tell you how the interviewer made me feel while I was getting interviewed.

I got to the interview room, all nervous mind you. Not forgetting my manners, I knocked on the door, went in and said Good Afternoon. The interviewer looked at me weirdly and said "Assalammualaikum." I was taken aback. Okay, my fault for not greeting him the way muslims greet each other but he could've replied my greeting before saying that. With an awkward laugh, I replied and sat down after I was told to. 

He asked me to introduce myself. Not writing a single thing on his paper while looking at me weirdly. And so I figured that he didn't want to know all that. So I started telling him how I was a prefect and etcetera. He then started writing stuff down. I was like "THANK GOD! I'm finally saying something right." He could've just asked me about my achievements though instead of having me blab and blab on why I want to be an Engineer. 

He asked me what course I picked and so I told him that I picked EE as my first choice and PE as second. However, I told him that if he could, note down that I want PE instead of EE. He then asked me why. 

I researched on PE and I found myself more interested in that than EE.
So you're saying that the more you research about something, the more you'll like it?
Exactly, that is only if I'm interested in it. And somehow, PE caught more of my interest than EE.
If you research about Mechy now, you'd probably like that better.
However, I have gone through all the courses and I can see that my interests lie in PE. I know that I'd be able to take on the course as the subjects are things that I would like to learn more about. I know that I'd enjoy learning it. I understand the work environment may be hard for females like me but I know that I would be able to stand it. 
How sure are you that you would not like another course later on after you research more?
As of now, I can see myself as a Petroleum Engineer in the future. 
Okay, lets stop arguing. Can you tell me more about your case study.

Can someone please tell me how that is arguing because I clearly was just trying to clear all his doubts about my choice. Or probably he used the wrong word by accident and I am being too sensitive getting butthurt by that.

As I was telling him about my case study he stopped me half way. I wasn't even done. But he probably had a time limit. All through the interview, he looked at me as if everything I said was wrong. I felt as if I was a criminal who is trying to prove that I'm not. 

The interviewer probably just wanted to test me or something. He was kerek though, no excuses for that. But going through all that, I still got in. The fact that I could still remember what happened proves that I was pretty affected by that interview.

That was my second interview after Taylor's. It was so different because the person I was interviewed by at Taylor's was one of the Heads, she looked at me as if everything I was saying was interesting and she asked me questions, wanting to know more about me. She ended the session with telling me how I did really well in the interview and she's looking forward to seeing me around Taylor's.  I got the scholarship too. 

Ran


Missed breakfast and a trip to the open gym but woke up to the sun which is something rare. 7 and all ready for school every morning. Waking up late, once in a while is such a pleasure but honestly, waking up early during the weekends is the best feeling ever. Up and awake early for a whole day of doing things that you want to do. Waking up late is taking its toll on me, I'm hungry. 


Friday, October 11, 2013

Is this it


And so I question and I ask myself. 

Where did we go wrong? What did I do that wasn't enough? What did she do that wasn't enough? Why do we keep fighting? Why do we keep misunderstanding each other? Why are we dealing our problems like this? Why couldn't we kiss and make up? (Okay probably not kiss) But what's happening to us? Are we going to just end the friendship we've built? Are we going to waste the years we spent apart from each other but still managed to stay best friends? Is this how people grow apart from their friends? Is this it?

I miss us. The us who would spend our nights up laughing and prank calling people. The us who would call each other when we feel troubled. The us who accepted each other's flaws. The us who were confident when we're together. The us who believed in each other. The us who believed in our friendship.

SLEEPOVER JOM, girls

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Facilitating MRSM Pendang


I would choose experience over fun anytime. Because experiencing something is fun, but not all fun things will give you a valuable experience. Facilitated a motivational camp (in MRSM Pendang) for the first time ever with the MPPs of KMKN, my roommates and a few of my batch mates - many who I just realised existed when we got there. 

I just found out why all the teachers has been going around saying how the Engineering UK will stand out. The majority who went to facilitate were Engineering UK students. Out of 10 girls, 4 were Engineering UKs which in ratio to the amount of girls in the program is a lot (there are only 6 of us girls). 

All in all, it was fun. Had Syed as my partner and he could have handled the whole group all by himself, to be honest. Sometimes, we'll only be able to see someone's strengths when they're in action. I was surprised to be honest. Shared tips with the SPM kids, played games with them and made them feel mentally tortured. Was told by a teacher that I speak like popcorn... Okay... Had a few people approaching me asking me what they should do to improve their english. Memang I look like an English teacher pun. 

I am honestly looking forward to facilitating more motivation camps because from now on, all we'll do is improve and improve in our facilitating and organising. Had a few kids from my group texting me saying thank you and the fact that many of the kids remembered my name - the other facilitator's name too - made me feel appreciated. I also had keropok lekor for the first time in ages. It was good.

Friday, September 27, 2013

A while

an offline journal from Mami

It has been a while. Gone through countless number of quizzes, MPP meetings, raya holiday, raya celebration, mid semester exams, mid semester break (where I went to Cameron with my family and had a whole load of peaceful fun!) and now I only have one and a half semester left until UniKL! 
I told myself I would blog every day. Didn't happen. Who would've thought that life in college would be this busy. Or is it because I keep on keeping myself busy? 

Life in college has been tough. Messing. But I miss home. There's really nothing fun to do here. If I'm not doing my assignments or studying, I'd be trying to sleep or sleeping. It's the same thing over and over again. But if there's one thing I look forward to while being here, it'd be going home. The Raya Haji holiday is coming soon... I honestly could not wait. But after that I'd be buried in books for the finals. 4 FLAT

I'm liking my roommates. Hannah and Wani, when I'm stressed out and not in the mood, they'd jump around all happy as if they just had some happy pills. Without them, I don't think I would've done well in my Mid Sem since I'd feel guilty every time I'm slacking off and they're studying. But I do get annoyed... when I wake up and the lights are not switched off, when an unnecessary alarm goes off at 5 o'clock and the one who set it has no intentions of waking up and when the door's not shut properly. But I'm blessed to have them as my roommates. Xoxo (inner joke) roommates. 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Speak


So many things had happened this week but I've just been too busy with staying up late because of MPP, my homework and to study. Rajin Asma is rajin. It's all because of Hannah, though... seriously. It's like she's always studying so I feel like studying too because if I don't, I'd feel guilty. And so, I study too. People here are all so smart that I feel dumb. 

I have a few assignments and I'm stuck with Amar for most of my assignments. Death, come at me bro. He talks too much for his own good and he has a Kedah accent that he couldn't get rid off. He just texted me in his loghat. "We ahad ni dateline utk antaq tajuk and dpa kta sekali dgn buku log." And he said that I'm only in his group cos he feels sorry for me... Sigh.. loner memang macam ni. 

During physics tutorial, cikgu was like...
"Asma Mahfuzah..." 
"Saya" 
"Asma ke Mahfuzah?" 
"Asma" 
"You are the translator?"
"...?"
"The subtitles."
"Ohh... a'ah o_o"
While I was at the door on my phone (because it was bloody warm inside the class), Amir was there aswell.
"Zaf, tengok Amir dengan Asma tengah dating."
"Zaf, kau jaga-jaga tau, aku tunggu je nak bagi bunga."
"Masalah"
It's mad at how close we got in such a short time that we (eh no, they) can mess about like that. 

Yesterday, Acap came up to me before class.

"Asma, how many hours per day do you spend on your phone?"
"... o_o"
"12 hours?"
"No... I sleep too you know.
"But I think you spend 12 hours on it."
I'll just keep on thinking that he's just jealous that I spend more time interacting with my phone than with him. And then Aiman came up to me.
"Asma, you're from the UK right?"
"Urrr..."
"Then why don't you speak like them, why do you speak like the americans?"
"I do?"
"You don't speak like Harry Potter."
And then I teringat Acap calling people outside of London, "kampung". ... ... ... He'll be living in the 'kampung' area soon. Syed then came up to me.
"Asma, where did you live while you were in the UK?"
"Manchester."
"United or City?"
The people who heard laughed their heads off. Syed's another funny guy. He's in my English class and he'd be the reason why everyone would laugh.
"Have you done number 17 a?"
"Bagi aku tengok..."
"Yang ni... *stopped explaining* sorry tau aku tak cakap BI."
A few kids from FiST UK chat to me in English, wanting to practice their English. It's fun honestly but I sometimes feel offended when they're already half way through their sentence (in Malay) and then they suddenly restart their sentence in English. They make it as if I couldn't understand Malay.  Padahal my English is not even good. However, with the effort that they put in to improve and learn makes me respect them, why can't I be like them? And the fact that they're willing to help me out with stuff I don't understand makes me appreciate them. 

Moving along... lulz. I had to read out the conclusion of Ayat 12-18 from Surah Luqman during Majlis Hari Guru and after I was done, this kid came up to me and Mar and asked me where I was from. Mar said that I was from the UK and that I couldn't speak Malay fluently. I got an A for BM though. And talking about BM, I want to go to Pn Sharifah's house during raya to beraya, if she'll let me in that is. 

Yesterday was our Majlis Buka Puasa with mentor-mentee. And like everyday I didn't get rice. It was like everyone felt sorry for me so they all offered me their kuihs... even Cikgu. And then I told Cikgu that I was on a diet and then he was like oh okay, jangan makan. He then said that if I hardly makan, then my life in the UK would be easy. LOLOLOLOLO. 

It may seem as if I'm having fun here. Honestly, I'm not. But I'm getting used to this place and the so so so so many smart people. As long as there is the internet, I'd be able to live. Another few months left... until I get to stay near home. I can do this. 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

And so today...

Amar, Zafran and Amir during discussion.
It was a typical day; with me waking up for sahur (popia that Hannah got me) and a bottle of water. I didn't have enough energy to finish off the water in my water bottle which got me hungry half way through the day. It wasn't an excuse for me to eat rice though, so I didn't. When Wani saw me in class, she told me that my mata was 'sembab', I am still not sure what it means but it has got something to do with my eyes and a panda. 

Had to pick a club for cocu and I registered myself in EMC (English Motivational something), I was the only one from SPC July... which was a bit sad. Tried to get my classmates to join but it didn't work. Oh well. Atleast FiST UK has a wakil as it's a badan college. I was sitting at my desk and then I heard the PRD teacher go "Tahun ni first time tak ada budak UK join PRD..." in a sad tone. Which made me sad aswell. Had to go to a kursus MPP and after that, I went back to my room and started getting all rajin... which was mad weird but I washed my clothes, read some physics, did my chemistry and I was just plainly amazed at myself. 

I as always, am the loner of the class during English but I wasn't alone today. This other guy was sitting by himself in front of me so Amirul was all "Asma, duduk lah sebelah dia." and I was like O_O and then the guy went "Come and sit here!" and I was like O_O but I went to sit there anyway. We then had to draw something and then explain the drawing to the other person and they had to draw our picture based on our description. I told the guy that I was crappy at drawing and he had to go around drawing some race car. -.-' People compared both of our cars... his was a race car and mine was a Beetle. Fair enough. I miss how back in school, we could chat and have fun during class and all but we couldn't do that during lectures so English is making it possible. 

After tarawih, just then actually, I went down to discuss with my group mates about the name of our project and for supper they HAD to serve Nasi Impit... and I was all staring at the food. Unfortunately, I was staring at Zafran's food.

"Zafran, tengok, kan aku dah cakap dia suka kau."
*starts laughing*
"Amar, tengok, dia suka Zaf, dia tengok je Zaf makan."
....
"Asma, malulah sikit. Esok turun subuh aku bagi ceramah kat kau, Zaf kau pun turun sekali."
"Macamlah kau turun Subuh" 
"Kau tak payah lah cakap."
"Aku ambil gambar kau lepastu post dekat Instagram."
"Esok aku akan turun untuk bagi ceramah"

The conversation went on like that... and all I could do was laugh because I was just plain speechless. Amar and Amir then left and it just got awkward but then they came back with a name for the project. And thus, we've got a name for our project!

And then I told Dzaf to call on Skype cos 3 of them were on my laptop and when they answered, they were mad shy at first but then they got all crazy. IDEK. I felt embarrassed for them. Luckily, it was just Dzaf... I couldn't even imagine how I'd feel if it was some other guy. 

And now I shall get on with my English homework... sleep sounds nicer though.  

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

It


I cried... in front of people. It was embarrassing fullstop. There were a few people who didn't have a group yet including me. However, they wanted to put me in a group with someone that I prefer not to be in a group with. When I gave in, Mami called and with the emotions overload, I cried. It was pretty embarrassing. 

A little bit after my little crying session, Sop and Aiman came up to me saying that they got me a different group. Bless them and thank Allah for that. Was glad that my group mates accepted me into the group. I wanted someone who was from Selangor before so it'd be easier for me and for us to meet up during sem break but two of my group mates are from Kedah. I really couldn't be bothered anymore. I was just glad that I wasn't grouped with people who couldn't stand me. 

And I'm super glad that Amar, Zafran and Amir are my group mates. All of us have one goal and that is to get gold except for Amar... he wants platinum but he's a bit weird like that. While discussing, we chatted and chatted and idea after idea, the response was "Farid dah buat tu dah." Okay. Thank you Farid. But anyway, I like how all of us have the same objective and how our brains function the same way. 

We played this one board game today during English. It was fun. So many of them were stressed out saying how it isn't fair and all. I want to play more games! I don't think I've been getting enough sleep. I can't wait for the weekends cos I'd be able to sleep all day. 

About the interview with the Pengarah, it was nothing really. It was just for formality but like how can a Pengarah be so cool. She was all laid back. Everyone would honestly love a Pengarah or a Pengetua like her. I'm now the Exco Hubungan Luar in the MPP SPC URVFiB (July 13/14). Watikah Pelantikan went well, atleast I think it did. 

Majlis Berbuka Puasa MPP's tonight. Food provided by the DS but cikgu got some currypuffs and ice cream. YEAYZ. 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

KMKN 4

And so... MPP. Okay. Tak perlu manifesto pun. Esok interview dengan Pengarah and HEP I think. I'm praying for the best. Before becoming MPP, Cikgu went around saying how we need to be like Farid. I think I picked the right person to be my role model. Claps for Asma.

And after the whole thing, I approached Hakimi and asked him if he has a group for the project/research or whatever we needed to do and he said that he did. And that's it... okay. I was all upset. And so I went to Amirul.

"Amirul, kamu ada group tak?""Weh, kitaorg dah ada group ke?""Dah en""Dah kot, kenapa?""Sebab cam, I tak ada group and nak cari the ones in Selangor kan..." "Ermm, group yang tu tak confirm lagi, nanti esok jumpa kat class tengok macam mana."

HOPE

or nanti I'll have to beg people. 

Friday, July 12, 2013

KMKN 3



I hope I wouldn't end up title-ing my posts with KMKN # from now on. That'd just be plain retarded. 

Went to see Ustaz in the morning for the translation thing. And as I was typing my script, he was saying how I can be a typist. -.-' Printed it out and got really nervous and all innit. Went to the hall, listened to what we have to do for our 15% project. Gotta find people from Selangor/KL since we'll be doing it during the sem break. Sem break. :( Also listened to our advisor talk, well I think she is...

Then came the moment... to go up on stage for the closing ceremony. Scawy okay. But I wasn't shaking. Went up on stage and had to sit on a raised platform. You know how girls would sit like nicely with their legs folded up in a weird way, I sat crosslegged like a boss. Got me feeling insecure. HAHAHA. I bet people were judging me. Wasn't that nervous at first, but the girl reciting the Quran was like shaking and so I started getting nervous. 

When it was my turn, I read my script and at one point I couldn't see some of the words right cos it was too far... should've worn me glasses but oh well. Completed it without missing any words.. just a few letters. After that, Pn Shaariah gave a speech and commented on how the way I speak English can beat the Queen of England or something like that. Got everyone laughing. Malu jap. Saying that KMKN's English teachers wouldn't have a problem teaching my batch. And she believes that there are many people in my batch that are good enough to teach and that some can even teach the teachers. Urr... Urr...

There was this one faci who made a montage of our week here. Is that what it's called. And I just google checked it and it is. I'm so pro sometimes... at googling. Masalah. The guy could join the MedTech team if he wanted to. I have to let go of UTP. Hahaha. 

Afterwards, it was time to bersurai. Was expecting something official from the facis but there weren't any. Was going all emo, "Diorang takkan ingat kitaorg pun nanti," and stuff like that. Wanted to take a picture with my groupmates and Farid but most of them went so the ones left did. Farid then told me that he gave my name to the debate teacher... dot dot dot... he told me to be the next Dell... but Dell is so terer I swear and I can't even debate that well but then he said that the teachers are gonna train us. 

Anyway, we then left to the co-op (?) and then to the PPKK to ambil Adani and Aida's surat. Stayed there for a while... ada WI-FI.
"Asma nak balik ke?"

"Tak... jauh sangat."
"Kat mana? Selangor?"
"A'ah"
"Selangor dekat je."
"Pinjam kereta."
"Eh, mana boleh."
"Ana nak balik KL dah ni."
Okay tak perlu lah nak rub it in my face that you're going back home and I'm stuck here. Bukan nak ajak ikut balik... I wanna go home. 

And that was my orientation week. Better than UTP's but was expecting more group bonding. Oh well. Facis worked hard and I'm super grateful that they didn't go around marah-ing us, gave us enough rest and didn't give us a packed schedule. I hope to see them in the UK in two years. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

KMKN 2



I had fun today during orientation. Lots of fun to be honest. And I also felt a bit betrayed... by Bro (because Abang would sound a little too awkward) Farid.

Started today's activity with a session about our success... or something like that. I couldn't really remember. Through the session I found out that I look like a medic student, I drive fast, I'd be able to fit in well later on in the UK and that my parents don't have to sign anything when I pick which engineering course to take.

We then had to 'discuss' on which is important out of these four: entertainment, rest, study and finance. We somehow were able to make the conclusion like this: Study, Finance, Rest, Entertainment. Farid told us a lot about himself and I began to look up to him. He's like my role model now. I want to be like him. I want to be someone here, someone who will be remembered, someone the teachers would talk about. I was told to dream big, Farid told us to dream big and so I told myself, when else am I going to step up if I don't do so now.
"Bagus lah ada accent sana. Nanti ana pergi Sheffield cakap macam ni, cakap Manglish." (ana as in 'I')
Anyway, at the end of our discussion, we had to pick a person to represent the team. Everyone pointed at me. Thanks... because getting flour thrown at me isn't enough.

"Asma, Asma lah buat"
"Tak apa lah, nanti ana suruh faci in charge pilih siapa yang dia nak jadi wakil, Asma tak perlu" 
"Yeay!"
Later on in the hall, the faci called my name to represent my group... the name was in his phone and how else would he have known my name but through Farid. Judging Farid. I was downright nervous. Not even messing. Was shivering and everything, didn't have anything in my head either. After I got over that nervewrecking moment, I realised that Farid helped me become known. People know my name now... hur hur. I was going out of the toilet and this one girl was like "Asma kan?" So I shall stop judging him.


We had to make a tower, ours wasn't tall but it was stable enough. Later on we played a game... a weird one. And I was caught, I was a prisoner with so many other people. In the end, we had to conclude what we got from the game and so I put my hands up when it was time for the last conclusion.

"Bagus! Oh, Asma."
"O_O"
Was later called to stay in the hall because of an audition to become the MC for the closing ceremony... and no I didn't become the MC.
"You talk too fast, you have to slow down a bit."
"I was rapping"
"You rap?"
"Nope."
"What song?"
"I was only messing, I don't rap."
And so after that, everyone asked me why I had to stay and so I told them that the faci nak cari gaduh. Because Asma is Asma and Asma will forever be Asma. We then went to the bazaar in Kuala Nerang by bus to get food for the group. Farid said that he used to jog to the bandar (pekan?) when he was here... Ain't no one got time for that. Bought murtabak and popiah cos I wanted popiah. Later on while I was breaking my fast with the group, I realised that it's a one in a lifetime thing. I wouldn't be able to break my fast with random people from random programs. And to rub salt into my wound, Farid confirmed it. And so I started getting all sad, not emo, sad.



And right after that, thinking that I was done for the day, someone knocked on the door at around 1, asking for Asma. And I was like omg, how'd she know my room. :o And so she called me telling me that I have to read the translation of As-Surah Al-Baqarah 183-186.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

KMKN



Walking towards Dewan Badlishah (in KMKN), I was greeted with a stretched arm asking for a handshake. I was shocked and it just felt awkward but okay. Settled in and got Adani, Asmaq and Aida as my roommates. It has been 3 days and we basically go everywhere together. However, we'll soon be changing roommates and all because they want us to room with people from our own program. I am currently wondering why they didn't do that from the start. It's tough. Like, you've found your own mates and suddenly, you have to hang out with a group of different people. 

Was waiting for the worst for orientation (MSR) but, it's all laid back and chill. Bless the facis. Sunday was pretty much boring but then 'Faqil' was there and he was funny. No, he wasn't actually there but there's this one faci that reminded me too much of Faqil. We had time to go back to our dorm for every waktu solat and activities would usually start at 8.30am and end at 10.30pm. Sang the MARA song and the UniKL song... and still couldn't get the Petronas and UTP songs out of my head. 

Had an explorace yesterday and today. It was fun. Like yesterday, we had to sing Negaraku at the basketball court and as if that isn't enough, our face was drawn on. Today, we had to splash ourselves with water and I got flour all over myself thanks to my teammates. We had to play chinese whispers and I was the last one. They weren't able to deliver the message to me. Thus, they were given the chance to throw flour on me. Bet they had fun. Bet they weren't even sorry. That's what I said to make them feel guilty.

Also met my 'KMKN family' today. There are only 2 girls including me, engineering kan... what to do?  I honestly hope we'll get close and that we'd get to go to Genting Highlands or somewhere together. Do activities together, join them engineering projects together, study together and all. Life here would be fun that way, because everyone wants to feel as if they belong somewhere. I'm going to search for a club to join so I can get closer and chill with more people. And I'm thinking about running for the MPP.

It's already Ramadhan and we'll start fasting tomorrow. Have a meaningful Ramadhan, imaginary readers.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Growing apart




Ustazah saw how tight me, Jaja, Q and Jared were and so she shared with us her experience of/in/on (?) friendship. She told us, back in the 'days', she had a best friend. You know how you have best friends and then you have like this one ultimate best friend. A best friend that you're the closest too, spend the most of your time with, the one that's like your own sister...

Well her ultimate best friend and her basically just grew apart from each other. They hardly see each other and even when they do it's because of marriage or a new baby. And she also said that it wasn't like 'long time ago' anymore every time they met. And that's because after high school, both of them went to different colleges, different universities and they had different jobs. They hardly had anything in common anymore and so they naturally just grew apart.

And she said to us... or was it to me? But she said, as you grow older, there will be a time when you will slowly just grow apart from each other. All the fun times that you had would just be memories. So she was telling us that one day, there might be a time when we just won't talk to each other like how we do now. 

Honestly, I personally feel that growing apart from a best friend or a group of best friends would come one day for me. And it won't be because we stopped caring about each other but because that's just the way life is. 

However, I'm not planning on 'growing apart' from my best friends any time soon. And I'm hoping that when I do grow apart from them it would be because I died. So lets keep our friendship real tight forever... 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Bored


We're always sitting around doing nothing. After getting bored of 'doing nothing', we go tweeting about how bored we are of doing nothing. And after waiting for retweets and mentions that we're not even going to get, we'll go on Facebook and post it up there. A friend recently said to me "If you're bored, it means that you're not doing something that is beneficial,"... it went something along those lines. 

And so I gave it a little thought. A list of things came up in my head
  • Clean your room
  • Make your bed
  • Wipe the windows
  • Distribute the clothes
  • Wash the plates
  • Sweep the floor
My reaction to that was 



So I realised what my problem was. It wasn't that I had nothing to do. It wasn't that there was nothing for me to do. It's just that I was lazy. And then when people go around calling me lazy, devils around me would put suggestions up in my head of ways to batter those people up. That made me think again. Is it me? Is it really just me? Isn't it the devils... the satans...? 

From then on, the answer to overcome boredom became so easy.

Go against the satans. Fight them. Batter them up. Tell them that they are wrong. Get up and start doing good deeds.

And here I am, still sitting... 

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Graduation cake in 2018 please?


Sometimes, out of nowhere, something would pop up in my head... So yesterday, while chatting with my mates something suddenly popped up in my head. And it was of something I wanted and I don't usually ask for stuff... unless it has something to do with Taekwoon. 

But this time, what I wanted was a graduation cake for my graduation... in 2018? And no, I dont want an expensive fondant covered cake. I just want a normal failed cake. A cake that has been purposely made to look as if something bad has happened to it. One with a visible failed structure. But the thing is, the key point of the cake should be a banner or anything really that says "Trust me, I'm an engineer". 

And that is what I want as a graduation cake. Susu said that she'd get it for me. Yeay me? 

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

MAS

UTP MAS MAY 13


I walked into the Chancellor Hall and suddenly, my phone rang. Rock Ur Body. Can you imagine how panicked I was. I didn't know where the heck my phone was and I was just very serabut. Registered with Puteri and we ended up being roommates. Which was good. The new room was cool, with a separator in the middle so Puteri wouldn't need to see my annoying face 24/7. Lucky her. 


Orientation was tiring. We had to pray Maghrib and Isyak at the mosque. And Subuh in the surau. Not complaining. However, every single day the activities ended after 12. And we had to walk all the way from our room to wherever our activity was held and back. Bless the facilitators though, it was raining pretty heavily on one of the days and they provided us a bus. 


Became friends with some cool people. Husna, Ely, Puteri and Qis who we met later. Husna started hanging out with us when she asked Puteri if they could walk back together. And later on I met Husna and you know, when you have the same intention then you'll be able to get along together. Hur hur. Met Ely later because she came in the next day. Met her in the mosque. Then there's Qis who is Ely's classmate but we got close because of SRN. And basically, all of us were able to get along together and I spent my 12 days in UTP with them.


We were basically the front row kids because that's where we sat every single time we were in the hall. But sitting on the front row never stopped us from sleeping. I remember this one time, I can't remember what was going on but there were cameras out and we had to wake each other up every time it comes in front of us. 


On our first day or second, I couldn't remember, we had this ice breaking session so people had to write what they thought about other people on this post it note that everyone stuck on their back. We played so many games and generally, it was fun. We did the Dunga and some others... that I couldn't remember. There was this one time, we were woken up in the middle of the night because there was a fire drill. Pretty annoying. I'm just randomly typing what I can remember to be honest.


After my first Islamic Studies class, I walked all the way from my room to Ustazah's room. It was a nice walk. Not really. I don't really know why I went, I just wanted to see her for fun. People said that she's scary but she looked pretty cool to me. People wanted to elect me as an assistant project manager or something for a class project so when I told her I was leaving, she made a face. Joah. Haha.


Thinking skills was just well fun. In the first class, the lecturer came in and started speaking British English and I was like oookkkaaaaayyyy. And then he handed out this one survey for us to fill in and there was a question that confused me so I asked him and then instead of thinking skills, we had a 'how to pronounce english words properly' class. All because of me... Yeah... all because of me. But everyone had fun repeating what Ameri said. So, you're welcome. In my second and last Thinking Skills class, Ameri asked what my name was and Jay's name and Rubin's name and this one other guy's name because we were the only one who actually participate and I told him that I was leaving and he was like "Aww." He then called me after class to ask what my plans are and all. :')

My lecturers were fun and the lectures were fun. But all the assignments scared the shit out of me. There were soo soo soo soo many, I couldn't even count. Well technically, I can but you know. I freed my Friday so I had nothing on Friday but then I was packed with class on Monday. But then I had Modern Music on Saturday. Smart. 

Oh so every single day, after the first week, we had to get our own food so we'd walk around campus to get food. Went to V5 once and was awed by the Village. It looked like a hotel not a hostel and it had a really nice cafe with western food. Oh and at Pocket D, there's a Western Food shop so it's cool. Had lunch there a few times. 


Me and my mates joined the SRN team for props. Kak Sarene and Abg Ayol were our facilitators and they were cool. We were able to go back stage and you know, just check out what it's like to work with the MedTechs... and it was scary. Haha. Talking about MedTech, I'd totally join them if I stayed. They're like the coolest bunch of people in UTP. Mad talented and well, just cool. They had this presentation up to introduce themselves and the introduction to their introduction was just so cool. This one time, they had the speakers going and then they played with the lights. Too. Cool. 


There were days when we were shouted at by the discipline team. As if I cared. *flips hair* They were mad, getting mad at us for no valid reason. Like shouting at the kids who came about the kids who didn't. And shouting at the people who were late at the ones who weren't. That's typical though. The guy who's always shouting had this weird accent when he spoke so that was amusing. I think he's from somewhere up north or something. But they don't really speak English even though everything was supposed to be in English. 



On my last non-public-holiday day there, I went to get some souvenirs for myself... so I could show off later in KMKN. Hahaha. I wanted to get a UTP jacket but I was wondering how they would post it to me. I'm thinking of getting one now... right now but I think they've closed the preorders so oh well. Too bad. Husna told me not to waste my money. HAHAHA. 

And I had to walk to the mosque by myself on one of the nights but then there were a few girls so I caught up with them so that I wouldn't have to walk there alone. They asked me if I was a mix. Sure I am. I honestly felt really comfortable around Husna and Ely and Puteri because all of us spoke in English. Plus, when Husna, Ely and I speak in Malay, we would sound weird so we had something in common. Talking about them reminded me of this one restaurant in there that has the nicest naan ever. Mayyynnnn now I'm hungry. 

Ely, Puteri, Husna, Qis, Kak Ani, Kak Shira, I hope I'd get to meet people like them in KMKN and UniKL. Life would be fun that way. And within the 12 days I was there, me mates didn't really text me except for this one person. And I'm thankful. So thank you. 

Monday, May 27, 2013

UTP



Being in UTP was honestly a great experience. I loved the surroundings, I loved the IRC and I loved the mosque. I met a group of people who made my moments there fun. Wifi everywhere, LAN in my room, clean toilets, it's honestly an environment where I would love to stay at. Except the fact that it's located in a forest and I had no car. 

Being in there, I felt as if I had no connection to the outside world. Even with the internet. If there was a war going on, I wouldn't know. Or it may have just been me. I might have disconnected myself. I didn't keep track of the days or even the dates. This one time, a friend of mine went "Asma, UTP's in Malaysia." because I didn't realise that it was already Friday. I went to the MAS activities, went back to my hostel, showered, slept, woke up, to the surau, MAS activities again and it just kept on repeating and repeating. I went along with everything. 

However, what I realised was that every single day, my friends' parents would call them and they'd chat and chat and I'm there... texting my parents. And I didn't text any of my bestfriends and the longer I stayed, the more my dislike towards UTP grew. Not because of the place, but because of the fact that I felt so disconnected. I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed home... and my computer.

And then came this one time when I found out that I have cocu during the weekends, I gave up. I wanted to leave. I didn't want to study in UTP anymore. I freed my schedule on Friday so I could atleast go home and there, they had to put my cocu during the weekends. At that moment, I really couldn't see myself doing my foundation or my degree there. And so I stopped getting excited. I started disliking the place. SRN activities and my mates were the only thing that kept me going.

And then I found out that I got MARA's loan for a twinning program. Alhamdulillah. You wouldn't believe how happy I was. At least, if I take MARA's offer, there's something to look forward to in the future so I decided to leave UTP for that. And that was when the excitement of being in UTP came back. Part of me didn't want to leave. I started liking the place again. I had my friends who I didn't want to part with. There were seniors who were nice and supportive. There were people who I fancied. There were clubs that I wanted to join. I was attached. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

My BM teacher.

I was going through my old blogs. It's nice to reminisce sometimes and I came across a blog post. Don't judge my grammar because I used to not reread my posts to see if I made any mistakes.


Because of her, I enjoy my Malay lessons. Because of her, I speak more Malay. Because of her, I understand more Malay now. Because of her, I look forward to going to school. Because of her, I look forward of getting my mistakes pointed out. Because of her, I enjoy standing up to answer questions. Because of her, I know how much a teacher should care for their students. Because of her, my Malay isn't that bad any more. Because of her, I learnt how to appreciate a teacher. Because of her, my ideas pop up in Malay. Because of her, I have learnt many guides to life. Because of her, I know what type of husband to search for. Because of her, when I go out, I can laugh at a sign that says ''Kedai Menjahit Pakaian Perempuan''. Because of her, I have tried dancing Kuda Kepang. Because of her, I got the change to jump in mud to catch fishes. Because of her, I stayed at Dorani Homestay. Because of her, I got to sit in the bus with my friends. Because of her, I learnt so many new things. And finally, because of her, I have a Kamus Dewan under my table.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

KVD: Johor

It was last week, last Saturday. Woke up pretty late, since we slept after Subuh and got ready to go to Johor. Stopped at rest areas every hour (haha!) and headed to Kolej Vokasional Kluang. Arrived at around 1 o'clock or was it 11? I really couldn't remember. Met everyone there. KVP's teachers were really nice. They accepted my help with an open heart and didn't find me annoying eventhough I'm not the person they wanted at first. Met Balqis and Bie, I honestly couldn't remember the others. 

After they won the 2nd round, we did some discussion about the finals and then went to Rail Hotel to shower and pray. Didn't shower though. Peace to the out. Brought an 'assignment' back to the hotel too. The teachers belanja-ed us bread for lunch and McD for dinner. It was good. Went back to the school and Iman and Balqis were checking this one guy out. HAHAHA. It's because he's cute. Stayed there until 12 something I think. Asking questions just to answer it myself was what happened throughout the night. 

The kids, they will stay as kids. I gave one of them an extra point (in points) and she didn't put it in her script. She's a debater and she has a whole SCRIPT. I can't even explain. The next day in the morning, the kids came late saying that they woke up late because they slept late. What kind of crappy excuse is that? I slept bloody late and I was still able to wake up early. Had to add the point that wasn't in the script that morning. 

Going into the hall, I was confident with the points but bloody hell, the speakers weren't even sure with their own point. Saddened me like mad. The government's points could have gone down with just the elaboration from ours'. One of the speakers from the government was a laugh though. A day before, I heard her debate and she was like "Someone someone sed, it's betteuh teuh tuhrai, than naut teuh tuhrai at aul." Not dissing just saying because after the debate, I asked her where she used to live and she was able to answer without the annoying accent. London apparently. Thank God I didn't live in London, imagine how annoying it would be for everybody. 

Balqis said that she wondered how I was able to speak Malay the way I speak Malay. BM A okay, markah lisan tinggi juga. *flips hair* And one of the speakers asked me why I say 'and' weirdly. Who is the one pronouncing 'and' as 'end', now? Tsk. 

Loads of praises to the teachers and the third speaker. Their teachers were working harder than they were and the third speaker had to cover up the other speakers' mistakes. It was a good experience and it was nice seeing how supportive their teachers were. 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Fact #14

itsvixx
I can't cut my nails right
I hope Taekwoon would know how to

Monday, April 15, 2013

UTP's Educamp


Early this morning, at 3.30 to be precise, I woke up to get ready to go to UTP. Papa drove there and I fell asleep when we were in Ipoh (I think). Sorry Papa! We got there, surprised by the number of people that were already lining up. It was only 7 o'clock! Waited in line and got a little bit pissed by the people who came late but went to the front. Typical Malaysians, glad I'm not one. 0:-)


UTP looked awesome. I just don't know how to describe it. I'd go to their library every single day if I could. Plus, the whole campus had wifi all around. It was... just... great. Got into the hall and it was massive. Going up the stairs, a girl turned around and asked if I (and another girl) came alone and I obviously did so we sat together! And we were buddies all through the day.


Puteri and I got along pretty well. It started with just a random conversation of what we were taking and then it felt as if I've known her for a long time. It got really comfortable. And and and and and the exciting bit about Puteri is that she learns korean so she subs videos... VIXX videos to be exact. It's like... I can't even describe. If both of us do end up in UTP, I'd like us to be roommates. This may be one sided though... hur hur.


Listened to the talk and speeches given while Whatsapping people (might aswell use the free wifi, right?) and at around 11 o'clock, we went out to the mosque for lunch. We rode on the bus and the bus driver started talking to us... awkward. Haha. Met Puteri's schoolmate who'll be going to the MARA interview this Thursday. I can't remember his name, have to ask Puteri later but he was tall. That was random. Started feeling insecure when Puteri got us to arrange our certificates. At that time, in my head it was all "How the heck did she get all of those certificates?" It was tough on me.

We then went to the holding room where we waited for about an hour, got me feeling all nervous. We were then called into the preparation room and we had to just find a seat so I went to the nearest table.

Do you mind if we sit here? Yes. Please sit.

Got me a bit shocked when he said yes. Thought he didn't want me to sit there. There was a cute guy in my group and I only realised after I sat. *claps* Puteri's really talkative so she was able to make everyone comfortable and Asma being Asma, had to be Asma.

Punjabi eh? Yeh. Melayu eh? Huh? Ye

That question caught him offguard. We were then told about our case study and what we had to do. Basically, we were given a sheet of paper about a certain topic, with a problem, the public's opinion and a suggestion to solve it. We had to define the problem, summarize the public's opinion and agree or disagree with the suggestion given. We were given about 20 minutes to puke out our ideas (we weren't allowed to discuss it with our team mates) but then we had +++minutes while we were waiting.

After those 20 minutes were up, we were called to the waiting room where we waited for our numbers to be called out. The interviewer basically asked me about myself (achievements, basically), what course I picked and why I picked it. After talking and all, (not gonna talk about what actually happened cos I'd get all moody) he asked about the case study that I was given. He told me to stop just as I was about get to my points and told me to talk about it later in the the group interview.

Waited again and was finally called in. We were asked to sit in a semi circle and basically just discuss on what would be the best possible solution. And the interviewer was just there... listening. It was mega hard for me. Because everyone's suggested suggestions were really different. In the end, we managed to combine everything up together... not really. Took a few words from everyone's suggestion and managed to find a conclusion which is "The government's new policy should focus on exposing drugs in a good way to the community through the media and something something." Can't really remember what I blabbered about. 

We got out of the room and started chatting... and then everyone parted to leave. 

It was tiring for me, probably more for Papa cos he drove there and back. So thank you Papa. :D

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Sometimes


I would like a guy best friend. Someone who I could just basically dump my problems on. Someone who I could talk to about my best friends when I need to complain about them. Because guys don't chat as much as girls and guys don't judge and guys don't add fuel to the fire. I actually do have a friend who I can chat to like that but you know, not a best friend. I sometimes just wish that I have one. 

I'm jealous of I and A. Why? Uh why? Because they're like besties. What do we have that you don't. It's like u hav a guy to tell everything to u know. Like when ure upset with us, u can mengadu to someone that is not a girl cos guys don't chat. Jap Asma, how'd you know I complain to A? HAHAHAHAHA. A bagitahu ehhhhh. Tak sebab thats what i do when i chat to D but he's not a best friend u know. how can D not be a bestfriend? i thought? D tells you stuff? He doesn't really, u know... talk. hahaha. cause D doesn't talk. lol. read your mind. neither do A entah. He keeps telling me that he's more of a listener. He comments but he doens't talk. But we complain each other on our life and we'll get a pep talk from each other in return. Haha. Oh? So comment is not a talk? D doesn't do that. See. Not a best friend u know. hahaha entah. but I feel very awkward arnd him when we meet. 

Loads of sentences missing because we were talking about two different topics at the same time... which is what we usually do.  

Anyway, I talked to Ana today. I miss Ana. 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Petrosains


Today's adventure started with my difficulty of choosing whether to take either Electrical Engineering or Petroleum Engineering. So yesterday, Papa asked me to watch documentaries on Engineering and then he was like "Fuzah, pergi Petrosains to see if you want to take Petroleum Engineering." And that was exactly what I did. Asked Susu and Iman if they wanted to go but Susu's been. So Iman decided to invite Amar, I didn't want to feel left out so I told Dzaf and then we invited Marina and it became this one little trip. 

I didn't sleep after Subuh to get ready and at around 8:45 (blame the late people) we were on our way to KLCC. I was happy enough that I didn't need to drive. Hung in front of Petrosains 15 minutes before the opening time and then went in. We were all a little bit excited. Being the first there, there were all these volunteers chatting to us and guiding us around so it was well fun! 

Best bit of the whole trip has got to be at the dinosaur place though. Hehe.
Iman, do you know what this means? No... tanya lah the guy there. Can you call him for me. (called the guy) What does this mean? I dont know. But how can you not know? I'm only a volunteer. But shouldn't you know? (awkward laugh) OH OH! I get it now. Should've read it from the beginning. -.-' 
And so this guy started following us around. At one point Iman was mentioning about how I have to read all about those stuff when I'm studying and this guy overheard. He then asked me if I wanted to take engineering and so I said that I did. So the guy was like where? And I told him that I have a UTP interview on Monday and so he told me how the interview is really easy so I should just chill out and all. He then walked around the exhibition explaining everything to us and telling me random things that I would probably learn if I study PE. And he would ask me some random questions about Petroleum and all and the fact that I was able to answer them surprised me. It was probably because of the documentaries I watched yesterday. I considered asking the guy to just be our tour guide for our day in Petrosains but that wouldn't be nice. 

We then went to the next area and they had a Maths show. Having only 5 of us there, I obviously just decided to chill and speak out whatever I wanted to say. I mean, my friends know how I am and so I didn't care. I participated a lot... I think. But then the guy kept saying that he doesn't understand me. (makes a face) Brought back home a 3D dinosaur kit for Muaz though. It's something. We then basically went around stopping at random places. Played some games at the kids place. A child at heart, I am. We went into the simulator... twice. The screen didn't work the first time so yeah. Iman belanjaed us it too!

At the Oil Rig, I basically went around reading and listening, having my main intention of going to Petrosains in my head. I guess I spent too long there that the other kids left me. Tsk. Sat at the place where the oil rig workers would sleep at, to watch a guy talking about his life there (on the telly). Went out and the fun those kids were having, I couldn't even explain. 

I skipped all the games because the other reason why I wanted to go to Petrosains was to race. So I was in the middle of a race and then this kid came and switched off the main switch. WTH. Got well mad and complained and this guy came so that I could play it again but I wasn't able to play it. I wanted to idk, whack the kid or something.  Letting it go, I went down the slide twice with Amar taking a picture at the bottom of the slide. Problematic. Went back to play and those kids were there. They were well short and they couldn't reach the pedal and I told them that they had to be a certain height but they didn't understand. This woman came to tell them to get out after that. Problematic kids. 


We continued to the next part and played again. Petrosains staffs/volunteers are really friendly. I'd visit everyday if I could. I mean it's not even expensive. The parking is... however. We then went to the other exhibition they had Sultan something something which was pretty cool. Rushed through it though because the guys had to pray and we had to too. 


Had sushi king for lunch and there was this one woman who took our orders and dayyum was she rude. I asked her whether she can take our order after she's done cleaning, NICELY. And she was all looking at me with this look saying "I'm busy", I was nice enough to ask her to take our order after she was done cleaning but she had to look at me like that. Jeling-ing at me and all. I ordered something and it didn't come so I was asking her where it was and she was saying how I didn't even order it but I told her I did and there she was staring at me. WTH, it was her problem innit, go tell the kitchen to get it for me then. Seriously man. And then she's like bloody lembab I can't even stand. I don't even know why I didn't complain. *sigh*

I wish to have more exciting days. Will next Monday and Thursday be interesting? Hur hur. 

I'll be talking about Sasaeng Fans after this post. Like why aren't all of them mental kfans in jail yet? Couldn't be bothered to talk about them mental people tbh. So lets skip that.