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Some Feelings

I've been outside on my balcony accompanied by 'Journey in the Wild: The Secret Life of a Cameraman' by Gavin Thurston since 4 o'clock - it is now 7. I'm a slow reader so I'm only about a quarter way through. Naturally, I have been distracted more than a couple of times by my thoughts and felt like now would be a good time to blog. While I've been sitting out here, I've realised why I enjoy being outside. There's so much motion, sound and life that you won't necessarily get if you were indoors. The sort of presence that you notice and find comforting without it being distracting. I'd find myself staring out, seeing a bird fly by or reaching out to feel the rain just to get right back into my book. I now understand why I can comfortably spend hours in silence while I'm next to a waterfall or by the sea. The feeling of living allows me to feel content. My housemate and I made Nasi Lemak yesterday, we used sambal from a packet because we'

Scotland: The Return

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I have Perdida by STP playing on my train ride back to London from Edinburgh. It was a month after my Christmas trip that we had this second one planned. We all know how miserable I was after that first trip but I’m happy to say that I’ve recovered and this second trip had definitely helped a lot. I’m going back to Maidenhead feeling refreshed and content rather than feeling like I’ve lost something.  I feel like trips like these are the easiest to plan… mainly because there’s not much to plan. Had to book the train, book the accommodation, book the car, set up the trip’s playlist (which is the hardest bit) and wing it.  Day 1 London > Edinburgh Tuesday night, I went into London and stayed over at Emy’s flat. Around 5am, we left for King’s Cross and arrived in Edinburgh at 10am for Room and Rumour’s doughnuts. We then headed to Basel’s to drop Emy and our luggage off as they had to work.  Sarah and I then went around Edinburgh as the weather was too good to stay in. We walked to Dea

The Year Starts in February.

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Putting it straight out there, January was a very difficult month. It has been a while since I've felt this way for an extended period of time - the last time probably being in 2020. I can't remember how it felt back then but I know I got through it so that's putting my mind at rest - the fact that there are better days coming.  This month, not only did I have to struggle with getting over the holidays but I also had to search for a new flat. There was quite a bit going on at work too as it's currently a very busy period. One big thing was that there's quite a big change in the THG dynamic (not in a negative way) but it seems like we're eventually shifting hang outs into London and Jess won't be around as much anymore. So there's one less person (as if we haven't lost enough!) but also there's new friends that we're starting to get to know. I'll be introducing Yen to the team soon enough. So... that feeling of home is getting shaken up a

Left a Piece of my Heart in Scotland - Part 3

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What a difficult week - I've never felt this way for such a long period of time within the past 3 years of working. But I blame the Christmas break - I made it pretty clear to everyone I spoke to this week that I had an amazing break and that I didn't want to leave Edinburgh. So before my bad memory comes knocking on my door, I'll continue with Part 3. Day 11 - 27th Dec Took the train and went to Glasgow to see Kak Bebe, Abg Nasa, Alia and Asyraf. I had promised Kak Bebe that I'd go see them if I go up to Scotland and I'm so glad I did. It's so weird how we were never close because obviously, she's always been a lot older than me. But when you hit a certain age, it just becomes a number and I feel like that was what has happened. We managed to connect and it feels amazing knowing that you have family around - despite the fact that I've never really spoken to her properly before this. It felt like I was at home. They prepared a feast for me expecting that

Left a Piece of my Heart in Scotland - Part 2

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This was the part of the whole holiday where I felt extremely content, my heart was overflowing and I was genuinely so happy. I felt like I've won life and that living was worth it for moments like these. Basically, if I were to die, I would die happy.  Taking us back a few days/weeks ago, I was actually planning on going on the trip alone not knowing whether Basel was into this kind of stuff. He was up for it but as usual, you always have your doubts - are you wanting to go because you actually want to or do you feel forced to. As much as I wanted to go with someone, I also didn't want someone that would stop me from enjoying myself. He turned out to be one of, if not the best travel buddy I've ever had. It was like going with another me! I hadn't planned anything until I got to Scotland and it became a pretty last minute trip. We booked at what seemed to be some crappy Airbnb in Fort Williams for the weekend because it was cheap and the photos didn't look great. M