ASMA HAMID

Two weeks back, I mentioned how autumn had finally arrived. Well, I take that back now. Once again, I jumped the gun on the weather. It's been boiling this week, and I've had a tough time sleeping, tossing and turning due to the heat. The temperature feels like we're in Malaysia, except we don't have any air conditioning here. Luckily, I found some Thai green tea tucked away in my kitchen cabinet and decided to pamper myself with a generous cup. Setting the weather aside, this week has been quite productive, despite the emotional rollercoaster I've been on. My mum was in the hospital on Monday (she's out now, thank God), and it was really tough knowing that there was nothing I could do about it. I did call her as soon as I found out, but it didn't provide much solace because I knew that if things took a turn for the worse, I couldn't be with her right away. I also caught up with a former colleague, and it dawned on me how much I missed working with him.

I knew I couldn't bear being home all weekend and to be honest, I didn't want to be alone either. Sometime midweek, at the same moment I had organised a game of badminton and invited myself over to M&D's flat, I also texted Faten to see if she had any plans. We decided to go to Epping Forest. I had prepared baked sushi and Malaysian-style sardine sandwiches for the walk which I was quite pleased about. As I rode the tube on my way to meet up with Faten, I had a chance to reflect on my week and my own feelings. I'm about to be quite vulnerable here. I generally struggle with liking myself, but on days like yesterday, I managed to appreciate myself for the effort that I had put into making myself like myself a bit more. I know they say you should love yourself, but I think that's a bit too far-fetched for me right now. We took the central line all the way to Epping, the final station, and started the walk through the forest. Sometimes, we followed paths that were