Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Still 2013

It's New Year's Eve and it honestly doesn't mean anything special to me. With my bladder full and JRabbit playing in the background, I'm keying this out not as a celebration (because logically, I'd be out partying instead if it was) but as a reflection for this year. 

The year started out great! My really long holiday that I wished and still wish would never end was filled with so much fun stuff. Started driving, learnt korean, hung out with my mates, got accepted, went and dropped out of UTP, met Jong Kook, was left unsupervised for 2 whole weeks while my parents were in the UK and my application for MARA's loan to study abroad was accepted. Keying this all down just made me realise how productive my year has been. 

However, I was then sent to Kolej MARA Kuala Nerang, Kedah (which was my own choice) to start studying again; as if 6 years of studying wasn't enough (I never really studied back in primary). And in KMKN was where I finally realised that to gain something, you have to lose something. When the day got tough, I'd tell myself that I have to persevere in order to achieve the goal that I've set for myself. 

I have missed out so many day outs with my mates! I rarely chatted to most of them because of the crappy internet and that I'm always knocked out. I have also missed out on weddings and/or engagements of my relatives. I've missed spending time with my family. And I've missed the fun and joy that I could have had if my college was near home. But to make myself feel better, I would remind myself that in order to gain, I have to lose. I may have lost loads of months at home but that might just be the sacrifice that I have to make to be able to gain a bungalow in heaven. I may have lost some family bonding time now but that might just be the sacrifice that I have to make to be able to gain family bonding time 100x longer in the future. 

In the past, every single year, I would complain a lot about how bad my year had been. I failed to remember the good years that I was given before those bad years. Relating it to this year, the first half was filled with fun and good memories but the second was a little bit dull and boring. Meaning the good came before the bad. Oppositely, if the bad things happen first; well, every cloud has a silver lining. Allah is fair. 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Project week

This week was filled with head-cracking thoughts of how to complete my foundation project successfully, annoying people who kept on telling me how I wouldn't be a good wife, babysitting immature 18 year olds and tiring days. I thank God for giving me a dad who was willing to help me and my group mates from step 0 til the end, one who took a break from work to check on us and our project without asking for anything back (except for a 4 flat from me, I bet). 

We started the week with complications, unsolved problems, questions with no answers and ended it with a complete project, new skills, less money, confirmation about Zafran's gender and so many more. I found out how hard it is to read circuit diagrams, how soldering needs practice and how I don't think I'd be able to live with any other guy other than my dad and my brothers. It seems as if I have to start with the preparations of my wedding with engineering. 

Semester 2 is coming up prit soon and I'm not looking forward to it. 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013


When my parents sent me to KMKN in July, they told me that the next time they'd be back is at the end of Semester 2. But then, yesterday, they were waiting for me downstairs at my block's parking lot to bring me home. Feeling touched and loved. And I'm thankful. May they send me to the UK next and visit me every half a year or even stay there with me. Mak also came along and we stayed at Darulaman, Jitra for a night. Went to Kuala Perlis for dinner because there's nothing in Jitra. Had a nice time there. It seems as if Papa knows that sometimes, the littlest thing after something stressful could make you feel so much better. 

I'm nearly half way into my semester break. Can I just extend the break please. I've forgotten about the existence of my blog for a while but that's only because I had to study for my finals and once I got home, I had to catch up doing things that I wasn't able to do back in college. But those are all excuses. Plus I have a journal/diary that I write stuff in. Mostly, when I'm angry, pissed, happy and/or upset. I really couldn't rant much on this blog. Too many imaginary readers are going to read it and they might use it against me when I'm older. 

Everyone's stressing about when the results are going to come out. I want to know my results, sure, but  it hasn't been on my mind. Not because I'm confident with my results but because I know I worked hard, I have nothing to regret and lets say it doesn't turn out the way I want it to, I'll make myself believe that every cloud has a silver lining because I believe in Allah. 

My girl Susu is leaving to Madinah and then to Makkah soon for one unforgettable holiday. I sure will miss her noisiness on Whatsapp but there's WIFI in every hotel there, I have a feeling I wouldn't be missing her much! Talking about Whatsapp, us girls have been planning our future sleepover in Hilton. Marry some rich guy and make them pay for our sleepover. We were saying how Iman wouldn't have a problem cos she has already found a rich guy. However, I think I'd end up using my own money to pay for it (I don't like people paying for me, closies would know). Lets pray for Asma's health and wealth to do good deeds and to have that sleepover. 

Before the finals, I had to organize the SPCs' annual dinner and was put under protocol. I would love to talk more about it but I was too upset and pissed with a certain person then to continue.