It's New Year's Eve and it honestly doesn't mean anything special to me. With my bladder full and JRabbit playing in the background, I'm keying this out not as a celebration (because logically, I'd be out partying instead if it was) but as a reflection for this year.
The year started out great! My really long holiday that I wished and still wish would never end was filled with so much fun stuff. Started driving, learnt korean, hung out with my mates, got accepted, went and dropped out of UTP, met Jong Kook, was left unsupervised for 2 whole weeks while my parents were in the UK and my application for MARA's loan to study abroad was accepted. Keying this all down just made me realise how productive my year has been.
However, I was then sent to Kolej MARA Kuala Nerang, Kedah (which was my own choice) to start studying again; as if 6 years of studying wasn't enough (I never really studied back in primary). And in KMKN was where I finally realised that to gain something, you have to lose something. When the day got tough, I'd tell myself that I have to persevere in order to achieve the goal that I've set for myself.
I have missed out so many day outs with my mates! I rarely chatted to most of them because of the crappy internet and that I'm always knocked out. I have also missed out on weddings and/or engagements of my relatives. I've missed spending time with my family. And I've missed the fun and joy that I could have had if my college was near home. But to make myself feel better, I would remind myself that in order to gain, I have to lose. I may have lost loads of months at home but that might just be the sacrifice that I have to make to be able to gain a bungalow in heaven. I may have lost some family bonding time now but that might just be the sacrifice that I have to make to be able to gain family bonding time 100x longer in the future.
In the past, every single year, I would complain a lot about how bad my year had been. I failed to remember the good years that I was given before those bad years. Relating it to this year, the first half was filled with fun and good memories but the second was a little bit dull and boring. Meaning the good came before the bad. Oppositely, if the bad things happen first; well, every cloud has a silver lining. Allah is fair.