Thursday, May 2, 2019

Got through


It's been 7 months since I started working but it feels like I just started yesterday. Minus the nervousness of going to work, anxiety of being around people and not knowing anything at all, of course. The first few months had been a journey for me and now that I've gotten through it, I don't really hold back on telling everyone I meet about it!

It's very interesting to remember about how just a few months ago, I wouldn't go a single week without crying in the shower. And how I'd think ten thousand times before and after talking to anyone. How I would always be in this bubble of insecurities where I'm always thinking that everything I did was wrong. I wish I knew what had changed so I can tell all of you going through difficult times what it was but I really couldn't pin point it.

But for all that matters, I love my life right now. I love the days when I'm able to sleep in for a bit longer in the morning but I also enjoy the days when I'd be up at 7am all fresh ready to start my day. I love how evenings don't feel like forever anymore but I also appreciate the days when they do because it feels like I have some extra time for myself. I love how I get excited for work but I also acknowledge that there will be days when I won't be.

I guess, in some ways, I survived it but I don't want to go through it again...
whatever 'it' is

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