Maybe People Make Me Happy
My thoughts hasn't quieten down but as we do, day in and day out, we figure out a way to deal with it. I've started to realise that I've been spending too much time on my own when in reality, I could go out more and spend time with people. I'd like to think that I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert but I actually feel so much better when I'm with people that I'm comfortable around.
I had a meeting in London on Thursday, following that, I managed to get Faten to have dinner with me which was the highlight of my work week. As usual, we talked about life and we've concluded that I need to go out and meet more people. So I have a feeling that I'll be putting a bit more effort and money in that the next few months to make new friends or... I'll just continue going on walks along the river. We'll see. Although I do need to start inviting people over again.
Friday was hectic, by the end of it, it felt like I squeezed 4 days into 1. I wish I could talk about my work more here but I couldn't so that's the end of it. Yen and I had dinner at home and as usual, we talked about the deepest things - we just consistently wished that we had the mic out to record it.
I then stayed up til 3AM because I felt like Hanz needed me and it was only right for me to be there for her when she's always been there for me. It's quite funny, because it's feeling like we're taking turns to feel all over the place so we can support each other. But I love how we just know what to say to make the other feel better and if anything, Hanz is probably the reason why I expect way too much from people.
I'm going to get a bit cringy, but she had just sent me a short clip that goes "Soulmates come in the form of friends too. It's not just about romance. Sometimes it's your best friend who makes you feel whole and who understands you the most when the rest of the world doesn't understand you at all." And I truly believe that is exactly what we are to each other. She knows how to deal with my breakdowns, my confusion, my overthinking, my insecurities and all things like that - maybe it is because she's known me for so long. But ultimately, we're always there for one another, prioritising and sacrificing to make sure that we're both ok. I think it'll be a while until we're both equally emotionally and mentally stable - I blame the age but until then, we'll keep on taking turns to be each other's support. We've also started listening to the same podcasts for the same reason.
That aside, Emi and Trev came to Maidenhead today and as usual, that was when I realised how much I've missed them. Home felt more like home and being together made me a feel a lot better. They obviously had to comment on my recent experience, which ended up with a laugh because they think I'm the problem. I know I'm the problem but it's now going to become content for future jokes. Believe it's only going to spread further out to the whole group soon. It is what it is, I'll still love them.
We have a race at 6AM, I need to go bed but I'm glad I've found some creative time to get this all typed out and posted. And remember guys, be nice to yourself.