I've had a lot of difficult weeks lately, with a few days in between where I'd feel a bit relieved because I've managed to distract myself. I'm going through some sort of dilemma where I'm growing older but I don't feel like I've achieved anything or that I'm heading towards the right direction. I have been telling myself that it's ok to just live but I can't 'just live' for the rest of my life. In addition to that, some of my friends are leaving and it takes me back to the time when THG disbanded. A massive part of me being here is because I have my friends here but when they leave, I don't just lose friends but I'd also lose my reasons... And finding new people that you like being with and can really depend on and trust (as an adult) is so difficult because you don't give people that many chances anymore... That's a bit of my life rant!
Now, those distractions were actually very enjoyable distractions. There's quite a bit to catch up on the past two months!
I finally went to Brighton with my uni friends. I was extremely surprised by how easy it was to get there and how close it felt. We hadn't planned for anything in Brighton because it was my first time there so we thought we'd just go around for a wander. But what I love about these guys is that I literally don't need to plan a single thing or navigate when I'm with them. I truly let my responsibilities go when I'm around them.
It was a very windy day despite the sun being out. We first headed to the Royal Pavilion Garden before proceeding towards the beach through the alleys. J and V had a lot fun running away from the waves... I did not want to risk getting my shoes wet so I sat out. One of the activity suggestions was paddle boarding but it definitely wasn't the right day for it. We went to the pier and got the loungers out to seagull watch. When we got hungry, we went to get some fish and chips. When we were full, we played some mini golf. I obviously lost because I'm just really bad at them. And then we ended the day at the pub, and as usual, I ended up crying from laughing too hard.
For the first time in 5 years, I finally went to the Malaysian Carnival. It had always felt too far away from Maidenhead but because I had friends to go with this year, I finally went. I'm quite glad I did! I didn't realise there were sooooo many Malaysians here, but I guess it makes sense to not feel it if you live outside of London.
Faten, Faiz and I arrived quite early which was good because we got to comfortably chop our spot. I came prepared with the picnic mat and we started with our meals. I had roti canai and kuih for breakfast followed by Laksa Sarawak for lunch. When K arrived, we sat with her and her family. Auntie Y made banana cake which I had for dessert. I also had a ton load of sweet drinks which I wasn't very proud of.
Zariq was in London for his annual trip so Yen and I went out to see him. We had crepes and then spent the rest of the day at the park just catching up. I love it when Zariq is around because it feels like the old days again. I'm not going to lie, I do wish he still lived here. We had the best times together during our first few years of working here, and there's still a long list of adventures that we wanted to go on. But life doesn't always go our way.
Out with Noms
After not seeing Noms for a very long time, we finally planned to meet up. Bit funny because we're both just around... Faten and Nabila joined us and we just talked until we got shooed out of Seven Dials Market because they were closing.
Two weeks later, Noms and I went out to continue our catch up over some tiktok BBQ spot in East London. I didn't regret going to the restaurant but I wouldn't go again. We then went to get bubble tea in chinatown before walking to Marble Arch to get the steps in. But the topic of the day was all about life because we're all a bit lost aren't we?
Ladies Days Out
We had a few ladies days out or days in... depending on who you're talking to. I made lasagne and baked a red velvet cake on one of the weekends to celebrate Nurul's birthday. The girls came over and we watched a horror movie. It was the most ridiculous movie but it was an asian one and they get quite scary! I wasn't able to sleep properly that night but was ok after.
The girls came over again on one of the other weekends for a sleepover. We headed to Windsor where K brought us around on a tour. We ended up sitting under the trees on the long walk and somehow started a liberal usrah session.
Emi had a birthday party (Barbie themed!), and celebrating Emi, I obviously had to stick the theme. I got a dress from Vinted which was a bit too big and because of that, I learnt to use the sewing machine that Jess passed onto me before she moved. I've got to say, I'm getting close to becoming a full on wife material.
I also baked another red velvet cake and I was so happy with myself for it because it felt like it meant a lot to Emi that I did. She got a bit emotional that we were there but if only she knew how much we truly do appreciate her.
After Work Things
We had a new graduate join us (and he's Malaysian)! We only have 3 Malaysians in the whole company so we need to take care of each other well. We went out for badminton and following that, we went to the pub for his first taster of the after work UK mamak session (padahal jarang pun).
I've also recently bought a bike after getting knee pains due to running... so last week, Don and I did a few trial cycling runs and it's been quite good. Hoping that it'd become a habit for us to go out cycling.
Just yesterday, I became Wael's favourite brother by helping him with getting his new dining table set up. He said that he felt like he was replacing Basel's spot in my life now that Basel doesn't live here anymore. :( ???
Reckon I summarised the past 2 months quite well. Hopefully I'll figure out my life soon. And if I don't, then... I guess I just have to deal with it.