It was difficult today and it's only hitting me now that I have time think. I wish I hadn't started certain conversations and said certain things because all I've been doing this evening is going through bursts of break downs. It isn't great when you're alone and without a person to distract you from it. I had thought that this might be a way to let it all out so I could process my thoughts but I don't know what it is? 

I think it'd be fair to say that at this point of my life, I should really start being careful of who I start conversations with. At least with the people I already know and trust, I'd be able to discuss ideas and find solutions. But leaving discussions open ended and with more questions can be quite deteriorating, at least, for my mental health. 

I've pretty much occupied my time all afternoon by calling the people back at home but it's not like I could call them until morning. Nonetheless, I appreciate each and everyone of the calls that were being picked up. The lockdown news... wasn't great either. There's too much going on in my head for what I can handle and at this point, none of them is something that I could address immediately.

Maybe sleep might be good for me now, I'll try that. 


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