Sunday, October 28, 2018

2 Months into Adult Life

It has been nearly 2 months since I started 'adulting'. I won't say that time flew by because in all honesty, I've just lost track of time. I'm unable to differentiate when last month was and when 2 months ago was. University seems to feel like it ended years ago but at the same time, I was shocked when Hannah told me that bonfire night's coming up because it felt like it was just a few months ago when my mates and I were discussing whether to go. I have a feeling that this is how it's going to be for the next few years, I just hope it won't be like this for the rest of my life.

However, there is always the weekends to look forward to though I have nothing against the weekdays. My weekends throughout the two months have been a mixture between doing so many things and doing nothing at all. There was a day when I stayed in bed the whole day just because I couldn't bring myself to do anything. It turned out that it wasn't a great idea because I was so tired when I got up, it was horrible.

Yesterday, even though I stayed at home the whole day, I made earl grey cupcakes which to me, tasted amazing. I used The Hummingbird's Bakery recipe which you can get here but I cut down the sugar to 200g though I feel like you can go with even less! I made sure to taste it before baking it because there was this one time, I made thai green tea cupcakes using the same recipe but ended up putting too little sugar. Though it tasted okay, it definitely could've been better. I've always felt like a lot of cake recipes you find online use extravagant amount of sugar and makes your dessert taste sickeningly too sweet. Despite that, I would always end up finishing off what I baked which probably reflects why I've gained so much weight.

Getting back onto the topic, with the weekdays, sometimes, all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep all day but everyone who I've told that to would go "That's unlike you." It's just so different from uni because a lot of the things I did then was because I wanted to and not because I had to. I can't just suddenly not turn up for work like how I wouldn't turn up for 9am lectures... it just doesn't work that way. I know I'm always comparing things with uni but your girl 'just' graduated, my inability to move on is bound to happen anyway.

Now, I'm having difficulties with ending this post naturally so I'll end it like this. I have my 'Things I Would've Regretted Not Doing' 1/4 way done so that's on the way. But until then, bye.


Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Things I Regret Not Doing in Uni

Even though I complain about my university life revolving around me trying to get a first class just to not get it in the end... I feel like I did so much in university that I should give myself a pat on the back. However, there are so many things that I regret not doing in uni and so, I'm going to list it out. 


1. NOT NOT STRESSING OUT


I most probably spent 93% of my uni life just stressing out about getting a first class. I had so many breakdowns, so many sleepless nights, so much binge eating (im struggling to get back to my old weight now) and so much hate towards myself. If only I had known that it was impossible (for me), maybe I wouldn't have struggled so much. Look, if you're smart and you're meant to get a first class, you'd be able to get it without making yourself feel horrible. So don't force it upon yourself. But, don't fail your degree... because what's the point of spending so much money on uni if you're not going to get a certificate.


2. NOT GOING TO KPOP PARTIES AND FINDING FRIENDS TO GO THERE WITH


I'm pretty sure the international society held a lot of kpop parties during my years in Sheffield AND I WISH THAT I WENT TO ALL OF THEM. These days, I sit around in my room just dancing to kpop playing on my echo dot but it just doesn't feel the same. However, to be fair, there are a lot of kpop parties in London but I'm too scared of going alone! So if you are still in uni, and you love kpop, find some less halal friends and go have fun. Because you won't be able to do that in Malaysia (ok maybe you can) or when you're married or something. 

3. NOT GOING ON A BUMMIT TRIP


Bummit is a hitchhiking event where you fundraise and hitchhike to a destination with your mates or strangers and then go on a night out once you've arrived to celebrate. Unfortunately for me, I only knew about it in my final year of university. As much as I wanted to go, there were more important  things such as passing my modules. In addition to that, I told myself that I would only really make time for it (and do whatever it takes so that I can go) if I didn't get the internship that I applied for. However, I did so in conclusion, I didn't go.

4. NOT GOING TO THE IFORGE ENOUGH


iForge is a magical place where you get to turn dreams into reality. I had to go to the iForge a lot when I was doing my final year project. My favourite machine is hands down the laser cutter. I personally feel that the 3D Printer is a bit too overrated just because I've seen people print the simplest things that would have probably been easier to make without using one. But as I've said, I didn't go there enough. I've been wanting to make a casing for my bearbricks, but I didn't have enough time to make it. I could have also made so many prototypes of my ideas but I didn't. I now wish that I was back in uni just so that I could go to the iForge again.



5. NOT GOING FOR PROGRAMMING CLASSES


I love programming, I love the outcome of programming. I feel like its an essential skill and should be taught as how they teach languages in school. But as much as I love programming, the only class I took was for Matlab. Once you're out of uni, programming classes are going to cost a fortune and you'd probably not have time for it. So if you're still in uni, go for it and create amazing things with it.

6. NOT GOING OUT EVERY TIME THE SUN IS OUT


I was one of those people who would just enjoy the sun through the small window in my room. But that was only because I never liked doing things alone and no one else wanted to hang out in the sun. There were plenty of time when I did go out and enjoyed the sun but I just wish I did it more often. Because after starting work, I've realised that I no longer have the privilege of being able to go out to enjoy the sun whenever I'd like to because of my working hours. However, I did get to enjoy the sun a lot more in my final semester.



There are definitely a lot more things that I regret not doing in uni but my motto is 'no regrets' and these are just the few that I have yet to move on from. There are a lot of things that I would have regretted not doing in uni too so that's to come as a blog post once I find the mood to write again. 

Monday, September 17, 2018

Adapting

It's been 3 weeks since I moved and I've had pretty good days throughout the weeks... except for the occasional days when I couldn't bring myself to eat (which to me, is very ideal). However, last night, I had a dream and when I woke up, all I wanted to do was go home.  I allowed myself to let it out in the shower before stepping out, feeling a little bit more positive!

But for the first time ever since I moved or started work even, I was looking forward to Monday. On Sunday, I felt extremely down, especially because I knew that my former flatmate's leaving the day after. I stayed in bed most of the day, just waiting for Monday to come except for when I had to prepare for work. 

That was when I realised that it's not going to be easy. I'll have days when I would love it here but then days when all I want to do is fly back home. Days when I want to explore whatever is out there and days when all I want to do is stay in bed. Days when I look forward to tomorrow even though I should be enjoying today. 

On a more non depressing note. I think I am slowly trying to get used to going out alone. If you knew me, you'd know that I would never eat out alone. I even bring McDonalds back home because I could never feel comfortable eating alone. However, I went out to Reading on Saturday morning to run errands and wanted to eat korean so that's what I did. It wasn't great though but atleast I managed to do it. Reading is such a nice place, by the way!


After that, I had friends over for dinner and it's safe to say that I will never cook for people ever. I don't get it though. I make decent food for myself and my tastebuds but I would always end up ruining it for other people. We opened a bottle of fancy sparkling juice, had roast dinner and spent the rest of the night just catching up. It was sad to see people go afterwards and I got a bit excited when my sister said she might drop by but she didn't. However, I'm going to see her next weekend.

Idk where this post is going and I feel like my thoughts are all jumbled up so I'm going to stop here. 


Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Starting Work

I'm in my second week of adulting (ie working). I now have a routine that includes waking up at 7.30am and going to bed at 10pm. In between, I obviously go to work for 8.5 hours (including lunch) and I'm still figuring out what to do with the remaining 4 hours that I have in the evening. I've asked my colleagues and most of them spend half of that on commuting which I don't have to worry about because my house is just 5 minutes walk from the office.

Last week, I would arrive home and feel like dying because I was just tired but I've realised that my body was just not used to it. Now that I'm in my second week, I'm not tired anymore, just bored to death. Yesterday, was a little bit better because my housemate, Hannah was around so I hung out with her while she was making dinner but she's on a business trip today and tomorrow.

Therefore, I decided to google the things that I could do. And guess what, I've found a massive list of things to do. One of them being writing a blog post, now here I am! Also included in the list were doing yoga, reading a book, watching a movie (which I've done so much of), going jogging, picking up new hobbies and many other things like that. I guess Google is amazing in the end.

Anyway, work has been interesting. I've been learning new concepts and have also been hating my uni for not teaching me the things that I actually need to know. But to be fair, I can only understand things easily now because of the things that I've learnt at uni. Therefore, it's not too bad. Plus, everyone at work seems to always be 'free' to teach me things even when they're extremely busy especially my 'replacement' line manager (who is also my mentor).

She let me borrow her textbooks (which I brought home to read) and read I did. She also walked me through concepts, she taught me things one by one, basically, I feel like I have my own personal teacher which is amazing. However, I would always feel as if I'm incompetent. I have heard that with working, there's a steep learning curve before it plateaus so as of now, I can't wait for the time that I can feel less incompetent!

That aside, I find myself valuing my lunch time a lot because it's the only time I get to meet the people downstairs! (I'm upstairs) And it's also the only time I get to 'socialise', I'm not going to complain though because we get an hour of lunch. My 'buddy' also comes up to me to see what I'm up to before he leaves for work so I've got that extra bit of human interaction. Very soon... tomorrow actually, we'll be revamping the 2nd floor to become a hang out spot. Can't wait to see what that's going to look like because then, when it's cold and ew outside at least we'll get to hang out and have lunch there.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Got a Job!

Above is an instastory post during the assessment day. 

Job hunting hadn't been easy but fortunately enough for me, I've landed a job in an industry that I wanted to be in. I was lucky enough to know what I wanted to do before I graduated which meant that it was easier for me when it came to job hunting.

To be fair to everyone, the opportunity did not come rolling to me. If you had been with me throughout my final year, you would've known how much time I've spent in searching for jobs, researching companies, looking through industries, studying for interviews, writing my personal statements (to fit each company) and updating my CV. All of this takes a lot of time and even though I did do all of that to procrastinate, it still took a lot of time.

My graduate job would be in the building industry doing building services engineering. Just reflecting back to the past, I decided to do engineering because I wanted to realise my ideas. I picked mechanical engineering because I thought that for sure, one day, I'm going to enter Proton and make it great.

However, throughout university, things changed for me. In my third and final year, I was very involved in learning about start ups. My friends and I went for a competition, we went on a 'tour' of the Malaysian start up ecosystem and I interned at the University of Sheffield Enterprise. This was not the route I decided to take on immediately after graduating, though. But it did open my eyes to realising that there's so much more out there that I could do rather than my initial 'dream' of making Proton great.

Sometime during my degree, I've realised that there was nothing within the engineering industry that got me excited. However, in my final year, I did a module about building physics. It was something that to me, wasn't 'mechanical engineering' but it was! I had so much fun during the module, I enjoyed every bit of it and I got extremely good grades for it.

Then, I've realised that I've found that one thing within the industry that got me excited. That was when I knew what I wanted to do. I was still very open to other engineering opportunities (I didn't reject any of the interviews I was offered). But to be honest with you, I was already looking into doing other things in the case that I don't get a job in the building industry (including banking - which was extremely attractive).

Because I knew what I wanted to do and which industry I wanted to go in, all of my researching efforts became very focused. While I was searching, there were very few job openings and I had just missed the application deadline for one of the biggest company that was hiring. I also looked into working in other countries such as Qatar and Hong Kong and since this girl ain't got no commitments, moving wouldn't be a problem.

However, fortunately enough one of the companies that I applied to invited me to their assessment day. I loved the atmosphere of the office when I visited, people were friendly, HR was efficient and the director was very welcoming. A few days later, I received a call and soon enough, here I am!

Yesterday was my first day and today, I joined a project meeting. I realised that I have so much to catch up on and hence, I am currently reading a guide on the 'Selection of Control Valves in Variable Flow Systems' while listening to Alif Satar.

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Stand Up Paddle Boarding


After years of wanting to do some water activities, we finally did it! The reason why it took so long was because the water is ALWAYS cold during term time and people are never in Sheffield during the summer. This year, however, everyone has to stay because of graduation and with the temperature hitting 27°C, there really isn't a better time.

We headed out not so early in the morning, got some Subway and headed on the X5 from Sheffield Interchange to Almond Tree Road. Felt like we were overcharged as we were given the South Yorkshire day ticket when a Sheffield day ticket would have sufficed after asking for a return. (Just checked and you can actually get there on a tram (to Halfway) too - which would then be obviously cheaper than getting the South Yorkshire day ticket). Shows that you shouldn't trust google maps that much. 


However, that aside, we then walked for half an hour and a bit from the bus station to get to Rother Valley Country Park. Arriving there, we found a big lake with a few people paddling away. We dropped by at the water activities office and was told that we wouldn't need to book for our stand up paddle boards so we decided to sit about for a bit after the long walk to get there.


After chilling out, we headed back to the office and was told that there weren't anymore paddle boards left and there won't be any for the next 2 hours! We placed our names down, then ate and played 99 and werewolves while waiting. Also prayed out in the open because it seemed like we wouldn't be done by the time Asar comes. 


It was two hours later and we got into the changing room to store our stuff in the lockers before heading out to start paddle boarding. Mainly decided to go paddle boarding because I've personally gone kayaking way too many times. Best decision of the day because with stand up paddle boarding, we got to stand up, sit down, lay down and even have paddle board wars (which we had a lot of). 


I initially had thought that it would be difficult to balance on the paddle board, but, it really wasn't. I felt like I wouldn't have fallen into the water at all if someone hadn't done some 'kamikaze' (that's what he calls it) on me. Kamikaze is when someone jumps onto someone else's paddle board, causing the board to become unbalanced and therefore - toppling it over. Throughout the one hour we spent paddle boarding, there were series of hijacking, ganging up on people to make them topple over, photography sessions, chasing people around, screaming and way too much laughing. 


It was definitely a great day out with my Sheffield family and I'm sure I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if I had gone with other people. Days like today will make me miss them once we've all gone our separate ways. The group was nearly complete and I just had so much fun. Makes me wish that today can happen everyday so I could just get tired of everybody and never want to see them again. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Petani for a Weekend



During exam period, I received an email about a competition on improving the design of a rice seeder. As uni was coming to an end, I knew that this was the last time that I could play around while working on a project. So I got my friends to join in with me because it'll be years, if ever, we'd get to work on something together again. Obviously, everyone had different reasons for joining. Hannah wanted the money, Zaf wanted to reconnect to his roots and Amir just wanted to join whilst I wanted to work on something with them for the last time. 


We woke up early on Saturday morning, headed to the diamond and waited hours for the laptop to install solidworks. We had a brainstorming session followed by finalising the design. Because the concept was a bit difficult to grasp, I questioned the design. Zafran then proceeded to say "Come on Asma, it's not rocket science." Which caused quite a stir because, clearly, I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE BUT IT ISN'T THAT STRAIGHT FORWARD EITHER. 


After a lot of laughters, arguments, banter and some good quality bonding, we didn't win. However, I personally enjoyed it because we weren't pressured to win or get good grades so we just had a whole load of fun. It was a good way to end my university chapter, through a small project with the people who were always around working on projects/labs together with me throughout my university life. 

Eid 2018


Ramadhan wasn't as much as a challenge because I had my bad days and good days. The bad days were the worst and the good days felt like I wasn't even fasting. By the end of Ramadhan, I was just surprised with how fast it went by. Unlike previous years, this year, I decided to not force myself to do ibadah. Therefore, every sunnah I followed, I did it wholeheartedly. I felt like that's a good way to lead Ramadhan.

I also had exams during Ramadhan which got a bit difficult sometimes especially because I had to have breakfast at 2AM and dinner at 9PM. My schedule got all messed up which meant that I had a really bad day during my first exam. The rest went okay, however, so I hope that all is well. Dad and Mum sent some kuih raya and as soon as exams were over, I started getting bored so I made kuih raya! This year, I made brownie cookies, pineapple tarts, cornflakes meringue and just yesterday, helped Hannah with her honey cornflakes. 


A few days before Eid, we had a little meeting about what we were planning on doing for Eid. We then did our Eid shopping at London Road and had a fun family day out shopping for groceries. That afternoon, I facetimed mum and had her, my grandma and my auntie walk me through how to prepare eid food. A day before Eid, Hannah, Nadhi and I were in the kitchen the whole day making food for Eid. We made lodeh, ayam masak kicap and nasi impit whilst the guys made rendang, kuah kacang and nasi tomato.  I have so much appreciation for my mum now because everytime we would celebrate Eid in Kuala Selangor, she'd wake up early to make all of that by herself. I'd pass out if I were her.

Eid Day 1 - Friday


This year, I celebrated Eid with Aisyah, Hakim and my homies. In the morning of Eid, I was forced to wake up at 6 to solat raya when I didn't even want to. I avoided it in Malaysia but I had to here. Also my baju kurung was tight! This may have been why I was cranky the whole day. So I wasn't very comfortable throughout the day. After praying, we brought all the food that we cooked to House No 2 and heated everything up. We had breakfast together and then headed off to Weston Park where we had a photoshoot. 


After the photoshoot, we headed to Azri's open house where I had really good kek batik. Mick; Azri and the mech kids; and Atiqah then came over and we caught up with each other like how you would during Eid. Zaf and Hannah then acted out and menganiaya-ed me in front of people that don't know how we usually banter. After that, we just hung out until we felt like going back home.

Eid Day 2 - Saturday

We woke up in the morning and decided to cook up the rest of the food we had prepped for Eid but didn't use up. Fried up the tofu and tempe which we nicked and had with sambal kicap. Made sambal - masak merah-ish kind of thing for the nasi tomato then headed back to House No. 2. We went to Atiqah's open house and had really good pulut! On the way back, we facetimed Abang Lan, Kak Ida and Emma because we couldn't be in London.


Once we got back, we played card games and halal poker. We spent the rest of the evening just eating and watching movies. By the time night came, I've already finished off all the Eid food and stayed in the kitchen to clean up. I obviously did this because I was told that everyone prepared the food because I wanted to celebrate Eid that way. So I felt guilty. 

We 'salam raya', something I'm not fond off because I sin a lot and would usually end up crying. This time around, I'm assuming that I didn't sin enough because I didn't cry. I sometimes just wish that there isn't such thing as ikhtilad because it would sometimes just cut the mood. That aside, we went home pretty late but wasn't done with what we had to talk about so we had a one hour long phone call with the same people.

Eid Day 3 - Sunday


Had a day out with the sibs. Went to Malin Bridge for a walk by the river but then turned around and headed to the Victoria Quays - Hakim said we've been but idk??? We headed to Ikea and then to Meadowhall before heading back home. I'm just not into shopping so I wasn't all about the Meadowhall stuff. But had a lot of fun at Ikea making random puns.

Eid Day 4 - Monday



Went to Bakewell to initially, go on the Monsal Trail that leads to the tunnel. However, due to time constraints, we instead took a right once we got to the Monsal Trail and walked passed the hassop station cafe and then back into Bakewell. There were so many cows out so it was nice meeting some of my siblings' best friends. Kak Aisyah bought some books from a second hand book shop. We then had fish and chips by the river where a duck tried to attack us (total exaggeration). Bought some fudge and slept on the bus on the way back home. Kak Aisyah then had to leave for Oxford and that was the end of Eid. 

Eid Day 5 - Tuesday

We spent the 5th day of Eid at home. Because Hannah was bored, I helped her make honey cornflakes which was really good and finished immediately. We played scrabble before heading to House No. 2 because we wanted to have a dance off. This was cut short because someone rang the door bell. We then proceeded to watch one super crappy raya telemovie that had no story to it. As I was about to clean up, I opened the door to see something appear right in front of me so I screamed. Which made Hannah scream, and Syed (who was that something) scream. We had a laugh out of that. After that, we had an 'usrah' session about preachers and then left to go home and sleep. 

And this is a summary of my raya this year, away from home. 

Friday, June 8, 2018

University Journey - Appreciation Post I

 

College and university life were the toughest I have gone through, I tear up realising that it's all coming to an end. Once I enter this next, longer stage of life, I will obviously miss it even though I wanted to jump off a building or in front of a car half the time.  

However, I couldn't deny that I only got through this because of the people who were there with me throughout my journey. I lost some and I gained some along the way but things happen for a reason and I'm thankful for every single person who means or meant something to me during this journey. So this is an appreciation post - like how I did one for when I left high school, here's one for university. 


I lived my life in Sheffield with two houses, one where I pay rent and actually have a room and the other, where I 'bunk' and stay in the living room. I spent a lot of my first and second year hanging out in the other house mainly because there's a telly and I usually felt lonely. My 'housemates' treated me like a brother so we were able to do a lot of things comfortably together. We cooked, went on holiday, had movie nights, played games, went on outings, worked on SKY and took the mick out of each other a lot. I appreciate that they took in a lost child (me).

Therefore, my appreciation goes out to Syed who never fails to make me laugh but I'm mudah terhibur so that would explain things. Thank you for listening to me when I force you to listen and thank you for lightening up the mood when it gets dull. Then there's Kimin who I have never treated nicely, but, thanks for being nice when I'm never nice to you. Thank you to Kema as well, it was quiet without you around during our final year here because these kids cave up without you. If it wasn't for Kema during my first and second year here, I would have probably died of boredom because Kema would always ajak us to go out and play. Also, shout out to the kids at home - Sazlee, Hazim and Aidil for not kicking me out of the house.


Hannah was my roommate since college who then turned into my flatmate the rest of the time. She was there through everything - my breakdowns; my heartbreaks; when I couldn't find the will to get out of bed; when I wanted to kill people; when I wanted to kill me; my horrible cooking; my loud shouting, singing and talking to myself; and recently, through the nights at uni (amazingly enough). There were times, I'm sure, when she wanted to kill me and there were times when I wanted to shred her into pieces but neither of us moved out.

Hannah wasn't just a friend, to say that she's one of my best friends doesn't describe her well. She's a category of her own. She has the vibes of a mum, step mum, MIL, supervisor, mentor, senior, boss, discipline teacher, chef and a maid but in it all, she was the best temporary partner, companion, comrade and 'significant other'. If I had to write everything about our journey through university together, then I would have to write an entire book. 


Then there's Zafran. Since college up until now, we would always end up having to work together. If we spent the same amount of time but instead, on a business, we would be Hewlett and Packard, Ben and Jerry, or Proctar and Gamble. But we didn't so that's that.  

Zaf is a dad, a brother, a sister, a gay best friend (he's straight) and a colleague to me - all in one. He takes care of me, gives me the attention I need but he's not the perfect best friend. He doesn't answer my calls or texts, he abuses me, ditches me and believes that sleep is more important than me. But because he's around, my Dad (actual Dad) can have a peace of mind.



Amir and I started arguing in MFI. We're of the same kind so it's hard for us to get along. But in it all, we survived university without killing each other, we led SKY 2016/2017 together and joined CIPTA as a team. For two people who don't get along, we work pretty darn well together. He was to me, what he was to everyone, a personal advisor, a close friend that listens attentively and a person who is always there when you need him. It is a rare occasion that Amir and I could meet up and not argue but he takes care of me so well. Because I don't see him much these days, I have grown to miss him.

This little gang we have going on here made university and life in Sheffield fun and liveable. While I'm away from home, I found home in them. Thank you guys, I love you and I'll miss all of you once you guys are back in Malaysia, getting rich and raising your kids.  I have more people to thank but this is getting too long so I'll make another post!

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Selfish Decisions


I recently made one of my biggest and most selfish decision ever. Do I regret it? Not yet. Will I? Probably not. When I went to the career fair, I questioned myself a lot. I kept on thinking how every single decision I make is for my own personal interest. I applied for certain jobs because I knew that I would get more from those opportunities. I also straight out said no to people asking me to contribute back to the society (through teaching) because I knew that it would not give me any direct benefits.

So then I wondered what is the reason of me being sent here? (I'm not self sponsored) I'm getting tonnes of money spent on me every year since college. And where is all that money going to? To the development of someone who in the end, prioritises herself and not the development of the country.

And so I asked around. I wanted to know what other people felt about this. I asked them questions like do they feel as if they've contributed enough, do they feel that they're worth the investment, do they feel like they've met the objectives of them being sent here. Out of the many people that I asked, only two said no.

Initially, I got upset, I wasn't happy about how they also make decisions based on their own selfish reasons but at the same time, they can believe that they're still worth the investment. Because I wasn't able to. Whilst I don't feel as if the money has been wasted on me, I felt like someone else, who has so much love for the nation would've been more suitable to get this kind of opportunity.

But then I've realised that we are all just humans. We try to grab every single opportunity that we can, whether it's for own benefits or for the benefits of something else. We don't know where that opportunity will take us. In the end, we're all just going through doors that would open, to places we don't know where it leads to.

And so, I don't feel bad anymore for feeling selfish. The 'selfish' decisions I make now might just benefit more people in the future. It might not. I'm not God so lets just enjoy life and see what's to come our way.

I'd like to thank everyone who answered my questions, who tried to make me understand things in their perspectives and for allowing me to see the bigger picture.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

My Malaysian Career Fair Experience


The Malaysian Career Fair started a week earlier from my university’s Easter break. This meant that I had to skip classes, miss out on work and rearrange my meeting with my supervisor. It was worth it. I went not expecting anything but I left learning so much from the whole experience and from talking to talent acquisition specialists, recruiters and employees.

I won’t give you employability tips, tell you how your CV should be or teach you how to network but I’ll tell you what I’ve learnt. I have had a few companies that approached me before the career fair itself to screen me and invite me for interviews.

With one of them, I had a phone interview, video interview and a psychometric test that I had to do before the final face-to-face interview where I was offered a position. Throughout the whole process, I felt so welcomed to the company and I wasn’t even in it yet! It was for a position that is not within my field but I was considering it because it has always been something I wanted to do. Which was why I decided to go through with it from the start.

This company tried their best to ensure that both my phone and video interviews were set to be at a time that was reasonable for me. Which I personally felt was such a nice touch just because I have told them that I wouldn’t mind waking up early. When I met the team in London, the person interviewing me talked to me as if she really wanted to get to know me. She wasn’t even in HR! I enjoyed the experience so much because it really felt like a two-way communication. After that, she sent me in to talk to someone from HR who told me what it would be like to work for the company. And as if that wasn’t enough, they invited all of us for a cocktail session to get to know more about the company and the programme.

In it all, they went through that extra effort to show all of us how much they want us to join the team that it just made me feel very appreciated. One of the things that I’ve learnt is that make sure that the company treats you like they want you as much as you want them. It’s not a one-way process. When you do your research, don’t just research on how to get that job but also research on whether the company is the right one for you. In the end, though we should not feel as if we’re entitled to be treated that way, it is really important to understand that you, the one who’s applying for the job, will be bringing money to the company once you join. They say beggars can’t be choosers but have value, work for a company that you actually want to work for.

(Had this in my drafts for awhile but didn't get around to posting it until today)

Monday, January 1, 2018

2017 Wrap up


2017 felt like it was 4 years combined into one: pre-sky, post-sky, summer break and the new semester. It was just so long! 

RECAP

Poland


Poland, even though super stressful is still the best trip during uni within europe I’ve been on. I went snowboarding on real snow - and I left with a whole new perspective on men and how I’d rather not live with one. But it also made me realise how I’d love to be one, just because travelling with them felt more adventurous (we went hiking!) and they’re always up for anything - even though you’d really need to force them sometimes.

SKY


SKY and my SKY team will forever have a space in my heart. It made me grow and it also allowed me to witness my friends developing themselves. I met amazing people from different backgrounds and had different perspectives of life but in the end, they all lived a life where they did things that were meaningful to them. I saw how people were under appreciated just because they don’t speak up. I also saw people who took credits for things they didn’t do just because they know where to find the opportunity to. 


But what really matters is that we all contributed, my SKY fam contributed, our guests contributed and everyone involved contributed. And we all gave and got something from that.

Post SKY

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When SKY was over, I was lost and was not at my best - mentally. But I managed to distract myself through CIPTA so I was actually thankful that it all happened. Because, without which, I probably wouldn’t even have had the drive to join it. Went to London for a week (skipping classes because what’s new) to learn more about start ups which lead to a productive (kind of) summer break with my two buddies. While studying for my finals, I was still not mentally ok which reflected on my results but we have to move on in life. 

Summer Break


I had an amazing summer break! It started with Paris with Michelle - which was so much fun. It reminded me so much of Slovenia (minus the partying) just because we did a lot of hanging out. Just sitting, enjoying the view, people watching, sitting by the river, things like that.


Then I went to Malaysia on Qatar Airways a few days after Saudi decided to boycott them. I always end up flying via exciting countries. It was Turkey a few days after the coup in 2016. In Malaysia, I celebrated Eid at my grandparents’. Only felt how different it was without my grandpa but everyone managed to figure out how to fill the gap that he left when it comes to preparing for Eid. I casually invited people I knew to come over for Eid and I enjoyed catching up with people from high school. Also had our annual barbecue night with the baes (just without the bbq this time). 


I caught up with my jellybabies after 2 years of not seeing them, we went on day trips and overnight trips. Planned to go abroad but ended up at Bukit Tinggi and Genting Highlands which was still extremely fun nonetheless. We also had a staycation at an condominium in KL. Hung out at Susu's apartment with Susu, Ana and Iman with a lepak sesh at the mamak and McDonalds - cos perlu. Did the typical "I'm going out with Iman but now it's getting late so I'm sleeping over". And for the first time, I wasn't around to help Susu pack for America. I’ve missed them and seeing them over the holidays kind of made it up to it - a bit. 


Also went to Cameron Highlands with Mak, Kak Nour and Kak Aisyah. I like the cold, as you can tell. Had lunch with the fambam a few times and also had grandma staying over with us! I enjoyed her staying over because I've always felt like I wasn't ever doing enough as a granddaughter so on one of the days, I forced my brother along to take her plant shopping.


I went on a trip to Japan with my brother and later on, my parents joined us. A lot of banter, arguments and dealing with the grandpa (my brother) for 2 weeks and then had to tone it down for the 10 days that my parents were there with us. Japan was a whole new experience on it's own. Every day was a challenge especially when going to the market. I wish I had learnt to read Japanese because it would have made everything so much easier. To say that I enjoyed it, I had my bad days and good days. But my favourite days of the trip basically made it all extremely worth it. 


It was also our first family 'travelling' trip abroad so that was also a bit of a challenge. Our trips since we moved back to Malaysia would usually be very laid back, going to resorts, just chilling out and enjoying each other's company. So this one was different because we were going to a city and I feel like as a family, we're very used to going out to see nature so it was different. I do hope to go on another trip like this, but maybe not to a city. Somewhere like New Zealand might be nice, or Hawaii... Poland maybe. Somewhere all of us would wholly enjoy.  


I opened up a lot to my brother and he, to me this summer break. It seemed like we kept so many things to ourselves and never really expressed it. I’ve always thought that I was having it bad but it made me realise that both of us went through things, felt things that were not the same, but didn’t make the other’s problems any less difficult. Happy to say that we managed to talk about things more than we ever had since we moved back. Also felt as if I got my best friend back - this might be thanks to the fact that I stopped talking to a lot of people. 

First Semester of Final Year


Final year got very difficult and still is getting difficult by the day. Also tried to blog frequently again but assignments kept on getting in the way. Finally getting paid to do things I enjoy doing - which is fun but because money is involved, I would always question whether I'm doing enough. 

Just got back from a trip to Germany with my best friend, Syaza - without Jared and Q which was sad but I enjoyed the company nonetheless. This is worth a blog post on its own.


Conclusion


I faced a lot of ‘reality’ which I was previously too naive to accept. I think that broadened my mind but also made me want to step out of this ideal concept that I made for myself. It also made me question a lot on why I'm doing what I'm doing. Why I should continue doing what I'm doing even though it's not reflecting my thoughts and feelings. It's making me question my faith, my principles and more than anything, it's making me question my heart. 

I've lost a lot of the confidence that I used to have and I'm now extremely introverted. I don't talk to people as much as I used to, I'm really keeping to myself a lot these days. And I feel like everyone would go through this phase in life. But through it all, I'm still getting through the days with some happiness. I've lost friends this year and I've lost trust in people that I used to trust. I've realised that sincerity is important in every relationship you have so I started drawing the line between acquaintances and friends.

For the past few years, since I left high school, my travelling game went up a few notches. Mainly because my parents and MARA decided to give me money to see the world. This will soon stop because 2018 will be my transition year to the actual adult life that I have, for the longest time, been delusional about living. Truth is, being an adult won’t get you money every month without working for it. 

I am unable to foresee 2018 being easier than 2017 as there seem to be a lot of challenges ahead but I do know that I'll learn a lot and I look forward to that... kind of. In the end, for every assignment you get, you'll end up submitting it in anyway. So it's the same with life, you'll get through the challenges in the end anyway. Stay strong everyone and happy new year. 

There were so many people involved in my 2017 and I did not get to record all of it but this is some that I managed to. Thank you for being involved my year whether you're in the photos or not.
It wouldn't have been a meaningful year without all of you.